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Monday, July 27, 2015

Journey to Freedom


It's a beautiful day in San Francisco California and I hope it is a beautiful day where you are. And it is - you know why? Because you're here, you're alive, you're breathing, that means God is still at work! And for that, we should be thankful.

"Every addiction arises from an unconscious refusal to face and move through your own pain. Every addiction starts with pain and ends with pain. Whatever the substance you are addicted to - alcohol, food, legal or illegal drugs, or a person - you are using something or somebody to cover up your pain."

- Eckhart Tolle

I've confessed to being a  hot mess in the past. My suicide attempt, my battles with depression and anxiety, and I'm sure much more with you already.
I'm on a Journey to Freedom from all that's holding me  back and I invite you to join me. That's what this blog is all about. At 29 Im more mature and a little stronger. I think that’s something believers strive for everyday; to get more strength. But when you ask God for more strength, he just doesn’t magically give you more muscles. Your strength comes from the tests that you can pass. I’m excited about my growth.

No, I didn’t lose faith. I probably stopped caring, which almost could have been a good thing or a bad thing. ‘Cause I was always putting people first and feeling bad if I didn’t, then I just stopped caring one day. I began to say “no” to even family members. It was liberating.

I had some amazing therapy, because see, sometimes what we do is we also isolate ourselves from people that do love us. It was like getting back connected with people that honestly love me. That’s what really strengthened me again.

Taking accountability for my actions. When you’re down in the dump, we blame other people. There are other people and elements that can contribute, but they say if you know better, do better. I do struggle with putting other people first. I’m still learning that it’s OK to put me first. Call it selfish if you want to, but I have to do what’s going to be best for me and my future family.

And, there are times where we have brought people into our lives to teach us to trust ourselves. They way that they do this is my betraying our trust. Yes, you have spiritual contracts with people who are sent to betray you. Not as punishment, but as a part of your Divine curriculum to come home to your soul.

The purpose of a crisis is to shed what no longer serves our growth.

When we focus to much to what "someone did to us" without learning or becoming aware of the greater lesson, we stay stuck in a kind of self-created purgatory of blame, victimizing ourselves and not expressing our true purpose in the world.

You cannot live your purpose when you are blaming others for your life.

You cannot live your purpose when you are attached to finding out why someone did what they did - because you will never truly know.

We must take a wiser perspective on life, one that has the spiritual maturity to recognize that life is happening for us, rather than to us. And while we need not blame ourselves for what happened, we must learn the lesson and break free.

It's about coming home to yourself and trusting yourself again. 

The first step is through forgiveness. So, in today's blog, I'm including a powerful guided meditation for forgiveness.

All of life is conspiring in your best interest. What seems like a crisis is Grace working it's way into your life. Focus on the gift, the lesson and choose to believe that what's coming next is a greater understanding and embodiment of living your life's true purpose.

"When you know better, you do better and when you choose to do better we rise unto our best selves".

When you let go and admit it, accept that you have moments of being a mess and than you share that feeling of feeling unworthy at times with the rest of us, then you can step into a larger, freer life.

"A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided." - Tony Robbins

And when we make that kind of choice, our bodies feel different.  Our nervous system responds. Our adrenaline glands begin to fire.

Some part of us know that the choice we’ve just made has truly, fully and unequivocally put our butts on the line.

When we’ve made that choice that deep down we know we should have made a thousands times before, but we chickened out. That choice that comes deep from the belly of our soul, that no matter what the outside worlds says, does or think, we know inside that it’s the right choice.

A choice that produces a high level of uncertainty, anxiety and excitement (all at once).

This choice will bring us to the edge of our faith. Test our ability to believe in ourselves and make us think from time to time we were crazy.

But in the end, we will see that this choice was a choice for freedom. The truth will set you free and when we look back on this choice at the end of our lives, we will be happy that we made it.

I’m still on the journey. It’s a journey of leaving the past and moving forward and being free from anything that’s going to keep me from being my absolute best. Sometimes you’re scared of letting go of your comfort zone. You might be scared of letting go of familiar territory. On the road to greatness or success there is a season where you have to be alone and you have to get free from those worries and those doubts.

As always be honest with yourself. And remember you can't get to courage without going through vulnerability.