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Thursday, March 13, 2014

Courage through vulnerability

We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

You can't get to courage without being vulnerable..... Allow yourself to be vulnerable why? Because we put up walls to protect ourselves from hurt but these same walls prevent us from healing. These walls come in many different forms such as being a workaholic, sex, drugs, alcohol, partying, overeating, etc.

These walls prevent us from connecting to the Devine and forming connections with people that can help us through the healing process. In the words of President Reagan "Tear this wall down".

Throughout our lives, many of us will face circumstances that seem unfair, painful and traumatic. And, in the moment, that is true.


Otherwise we leave the door of deception open for the enemy to take what is meant to be yours. Some people have a difficult time facing the truth and reality. They prefer to live in a make believe world, pretending that certain things aren't happening. But we cannot deny the existence of problems or act as they are not real. Life is real, people are real, and pain is real.

And from what I have learned from church, Oprah's lifeclass,  the word of God, therapy, and from just being a counselor is that we must allow ourselves to feel the pain. Then deal and then we can begin to heal. In order to feel we must accept and be honest with ourselves.

Acceptance is something that you do. It is an active process that involves a willingness to experience thoughts, feelings, and emotions without denial or evasion. This is the vulnerability I am talking about.

A lack of self acceptance involves a willingness to experience these thoughts,feelings,and emotions thereby leading to a rejection of the self.  Self acceptance therefore means to honestly accept the facts of your reality, rather than trying to deny, disown, or repress the things you don't like about yourself or your life.

A person who lacks who lacks self acceptance would automatically try to you repress, deny those feelings disassociating themselves from the reality of how they feel. And the consequence this would most likely Manafest itself in the form of anger tension frustration self doubts substance abuse depression and other problem. Self acceptance don't mean necessarily liking are enjoying but rather it means accepting the true reality of the situation.

Be real with yourself! Choose vulnerability.

If you can acknowledge and accept what you are feeling, you can then take the  necessary and appropriate action to move forward.  And once you begin to deal and problem solve you can start the healing process. The Healing process may not be instant for some. It takes time for a wound to heal. just like it takes time to recover from heart surgery.

The first step to moving forward is to accept where and who you are now. And to remember we are more than our circumstances.

The second step is forgivness. The only thing that makes you feel more vulnerable than being hurt is forgiving. But it's not a bad thing.

Vulnerability makes us step outside of our comfort zone and accept that we are not unbreakable.  It makes us accept that we aren’t as strong as we might think.  It makes us looks past people mistakes and faults. Accept their broken selves because we're broken too.
Vulnerability makes us depend on our higher power to pick us up and soften our hearts to forgive.

But as we grow and evolve, we get to see that once we accept what happened, we now have the power of choice to be able to redefine the meaning of the event.

Was it GRACE or was it a disaster?  Was is the worst thing that happened to you or was it an amazing lesson?

Was it a tragedy or an opportunity for you to be able to see how Loving You can be?

Was it a dark chapter in your life or was it that the events had to happen in order for you to discover your Light?

We can accept and eventually rise above our circumstances because we realize at our essence we are a Soul that is unlimited and that we have the power to CHOOSE how we are going to respond, interpret and live our lives.

What meanings are you giving the events of your life and what are you choosing to create? And what would you like to change? Are you allowing yourself to be vulnerable with those around you?

The key to transforming vulnerability into courage is learning how recognize it, feel it and ultimately make the choice to simply be there, with that horrible tangle of uncertainty and risk. When you know what you're feeling and why, you can slow down, breathe, pray, ask for support -- and make choices that reflect who you are and what you believe.