This past weekend I was having a conversation with some guys I had just met and the recurring theme was guilt and shame. And as one of the gentleman was speaking I could see how the guilt and shame was holding him hostage and preventing him from moving forward in life. As the young man continued to share his story. I became to understand that he was comfortable with the story that he was telling himself and was not ready to face his reality.
THE 3 REASONS WHY PEOPLE FEEL GUILTY
1. You knew better
2. You caused hurt, harm, or danger
3. You disappointed someone
What is guilt?
Guilt says there is something wrong with what I have done or with what I am doing.
What is shame?
Shame says something is wrong with who I am.
1. Why do you feel like you have done or are doing something wrong? Do you feel that there's truth to why you should feel guilty or asashamed? you been telling yourself the same "guilty" story for a long time?
2. Is there a theme to the guilt/shame that you feel? (For example, maybe you feel like you're not a good daughter, mother, wife, friend.)
3. What would it take for you to stop feeling guilty Or asashamed? Are you looking for acceptance, for people to love you? What do you need to let go of (or say to someone or yourself) to move forward?
4. Do you feel guilty in most situations—as if you should always be somewhere else, doing more? Right now, choose to be in the present moment. How does it feel? And if you don't like that choice, why?
5. Is your guilt related to a bad decision you made? What did you do? How can you find a way to forgive yourself for what you did or failed to do?
6.Do you feel guilty about not sticking to a diet? Or avoiding the gym? How can shifting your outlook change the way you feel (say, choosing not to deprive yourself but instead eating healthfully)? Would that get rid of the guilt?
7.Are you always taking care of others because you feel guilty putting yourself first? In other words, are you a people pleaser? When was the last time you said yes but you really wanted to say no?
8.Next time you're in a similar situation, say no. How does it feel?
9.Take a step back from your feelings for a moment: Do you make others feel guilty? Whom will you stop treating in this way?
Guilt and shame are wasted emtitions and it is ungodly to. Take responsibility and start making conscious choices. Start by telling the TRUTH because you cannot heal a lie. Give yourself permission to be OKAY. Replace
the guilt & shame with TRUTH and aaccepting responsibility by forgiving yourself and making amends.