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Thursday, February 13, 2014

Practice Gratitude


People with a strong sense of gratitude, love and appreciation don't necessarily have more than others; they aren't luckier or the luckiest. They simply recognize and see more beauty in their lives.  People who count their blessings are generally happier and healthier than people who don't. If you ever feel as if anything in your life isn't "enough" , try practicing an attitude of thankfulness.  Which means operating in a state of gratitude.


To begin bringing gratitude into your life, you can deliberately meditate on all the things in your own life that help you or make you smile.  You can also write a gratitude journal, posting pictures and writing about the things you feel grateful for each day. Gratitude can lead to feelings of love, appreciation, generosity, and compassion, which further open our hearts and help rewire our brains to fire in more positive ways.



When we learn to give thanks, we are learning to concentrate not on the bad things, but on the good things in our lives." Says Amy Vanderbilt. Thinking about the good things helps us to be grateful. Remaining grateful helps us to have a positive attitude prompts us to thank about the good rather than the bad. It's a positive cycle that helps fuel itself. If you operate out gratitude you will have no time to be angry. Gratitude is the cure.



Experiencing and expressing gratitude is an important part of any spiritual practice. It opens the heart and activates a new way of thinking.

List five things you are grateful for today.Show your gratitude. Who can you thank today, and how will you show your appreciation? When you feel least thankful, you are most in need of what gratitude can give you: perspective. If you're having a bad day, what is the smallest thing you can be grateful for? If you can think of nothing else, think of your breath.


"Thank you, always say thank you; it's the greatest gift you can give someone; because thank you is what you give to God." - Maya Angealou


      #Gratitude #thankyou #getinspired

When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them

"When people show who they are, believe them" - Maya Angelou 

What's the purpose of complaing about that friend who only called when he or she needed something? We all one of these friends right? We help them when they need it, we attend the parties they plan, we stop over when they feel lonely, and listen to them when they need to vent. But what about when we need something?

Even with all of the life she's learned, not even Oprah is immune to having a bad relationship. Many years ago, she was talking to Maya Angelou about a one sided relationship where she was putting more of herself into the relationship than the other person. 

Maya Angelou response became one of Oprahs and myself favorite life lessons. The lesson? "When people show who they are, believe them".

It's a sad conclusion when you realize you're friends or in a relationship with someone who is more concerned about themselves than you. It doesn't mean they are doing this maliciously. Some people are just clueless. They want friends and want to be in relationships, but they don't realize they need to be a friend, too. 

Maya Angelou says "Why are you blaming the other person? He showed you who he was." Oprah remembers that Maya Angelou also asked her, "My dear, why must you be shown 29 times before you can see who they really are? Why can't you get it the first time?"

Often when a person does not show you the exact problem or issue, you get little whispers, little messages, little problems- something is a little off. STOP! Pay attention. People know themselves much better than we do. So don't expect them to be something other than who they are.

How should you deal with this? Ask yourself the following questions. 

1. Who's in your life based purley on "Potential"? 

2. Where are you doing the same thing over and over expecting others to react or behave differently?

3. Are you getting negative feedback about someone in your life from several unconnected third parties?

4. Where can you free yourself from a bad relationship to leave space for a better one?

Pay attention to red flags and don't settle for someone you need to fix. As Iyanla says "If you see crazy coming, cross the street!"

So when people show you who they are believe them the first time! 

         #Getinspired #Lifeclass

Blog inspired by Oprahs Lifeclass lesson "When People Show You Who They Are Believe Them"


Monday, February 10, 2014

How to Bring Gratitude into Your Life


  "He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has." - Epictetus 

To begin bringing gratitude into your life, you can deliberately meditate on all the things in your own life that help you or make you smile.  You can also write a gratitude journal, posting pictures and writing about the things you feel grateful for each day. Gratitude can lead to feelings of love, appreciation, generosity, and compassion, which further open our hearts and help rewire our brains to fire in more positive ways.

When we learn to give thanks, we are learning to concentrate not on the bad things, but on the good things in our lives." Says Amy Vanderbilt. Thinking about the good things helps us to be grateful. Remaining grateful helps us to have a positive attitude prompts us to thank about the good rather than the bad. It's a positive cycle that helps fuel itself. If you operate out gratitude you will have no time to be angry. Gratitude is the cure.

Experiencing and expressing gratitude is an important part of any spiritual practice. It opens the heart and activates a new way of thinking.

 "Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concerate on what you don't have, you will never have enough." - Oprah 

List five things you are grateful for today.Show your gratitude. Who can you thank today, and how will you show your appreciation?When you feel least thankful, you are most in need of what gratitude can give you: perspective. If you're having a bad day, what is the smallest thing you can be grateful for? If you can think of nothing else, think of your breath.


       #gratitude #getinspired




Thursday, February 6, 2014

Growing Beyond Guilt and Shame

"We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and  affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.” 
 - BrenĂ© Brown


This past weekend I was having a conversation with some guys I had just met and the recurring theme was guilt and shame. And as one of the gentleman was speaking I could see how the guilt and shame was holding him hostage and preventing him from moving forward in life.  As the young man continued to share his story. I became to understand that he was comfortable with the story that he was telling himself and was not ready to face his reality.  


THE 3 REASONS WHY PEOPLE FEEL GUILTY

1. You knew better

2. You caused hurt, harm, or danger

3. You disappointed someone


What is guilt?

Guilt says there is something wrong with what I have done or with what I am doing. 


What is shame?

Shame says something is wrong with who I am. 



Here are some useful tips on how to grow beyond the guilt and shame. 



1. Own Your Story 
can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running. telling the truth pepople say the truth will set you free but first piss you off but I don't think that's true. I think first telling the truth will terrify you. We could be so scared of what we've been through or what's been done to us.You can't change it if you don't get real with yourself about what happened so go for it own your story.



 2. Find A Peer Group
one  powerful way to help heal is the surround yourself with a group of people have been through the same thing as you.it can be so powerful to know that you are not alone. This might be going to a 12-step group or finding a support group. Dont isolate. isolation can be very dangerous and won't help you heal. Get around people who can relate through empathy and love.  




3. Share Your Story
 I know this might sound crazy, scary, a little nuts but trust me sharing your story is so powerful. By sharing your story you take back your power. People won't judge you for what you've been through in fact you're more ikely to help ssomeone else overcome just simply by sharing your story. Its our faults our wounds, and our truth that connects us.


4. Help Someone Else - Be of Service
 Helping someone else is one of the fastest ways to grow out of the shame and guilt. I can tell you that in my own life I've had the privilege of coaching/counseling people. in each one of them has inspired me by their truth and how they show up. Get outside of yourself and help someone else. This is a game changer.


ASK YOURSELF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS AND ANSWER TRUTH FULLY

1. Why do you feel like you have done or are doing something wrong? Do you feel that there's truth to why you should feel guilty or asashamed?  you been telling yourself the same "guilty" story for a long time?

 

2. Is there a theme to the guilt/shame that you feel? (For example, maybe you feel like you're not a good daughter, mother, wife, friend.)

 

3. What would it take for you to stop feeling guilty Or asashamed? Are you looking for acceptance, for people to love you? What do you need to let go of (or say to someone or yourself) to move forward?

 

4. Do you feel guilty in most situations—as if you should always be somewhere else, doing more? Right now, choose to be in the present moment. How does it feel? And if you don't like that choice, why?

 

5. Is your guilt related to a bad decision you made? What did you do? How can you find a way to forgive yourself for what you did or failed to do?

 

6.Do you feel guilty about not sticking to a diet? Or avoiding the gym? How can shifting your outlook change the way you feel (say, choosing not to deprive yourself but instead eating healthfully)? Would that get rid of the guilt?

 

7.Are you always taking care of others because you feel guilty putting yourself first? In other words, are you a people pleaser? When was the last time you said yes but you really wanted to say no?

 

8.Next time you're in a similar situation, say no. How does it feel?

 

9.Take a step back from your feelings for a moment: Do you make others feel guilty? Whom will you stop treating in this way?





Guilt and shame are wasted emtitions and it is ungodly to. Take responsibility and start making conscious choices. Start by telling the TRUTH because you cannot heal a lie. Give yourself permission to be OKAY. Replace

 the guilt & shame with TRUTH and aaccepting responsibility by forgiving yourself and making amends.

 


            #Getinspired